TOP TEN WAYS THE
WORLD WOULD BE
DIFFERENT IF EVERYONE
WAS NAMED PHIL

(David Letterman)

10.   Almost impossible to get personal license plate "Phil."

9.    Ben and Jerry's ice cream now called Phil and Phil's.

8.    Expectant parents could be heard saying "Phil if its a boy and Phil if its a girl."

7.    When caller to Donahue show said "Phil?" everyone in audience would reply "Yes?"

6.    007 fans look forward to classic line, "Bond . Phil Bond ."

5.    Instead of screaming, "Watch where you're going, you stupid bastard!" New Yorkers would         scream, "Watch where you're going, Phil, you stupid bastard!"

4.    Could throw an office into total confusion by calling and asking, "Is Tony there?"

3.    Teenage pranksters would call airport and have them page Phil Hertz.

2.    Wouldn't have to look in TV Guide to see who's on "The Tonight Show."

1.    Most popular Beatle? Phil.